Brenley's MS Walk 2013 in memory of her Papa

Sometimes it's the little steps or the little things that make a big difference. Brenley raised $675 for her MS Walk in memory of her Papa; an amount that wouldn't have been realized without many of you reading this. While she's only young at heart yet, through an experience like this she can learn what it means to give; learn of the sacrifice of others; learn to support others; and learn to feel empowered by determination. This year's walk was "Way easier" than last year for her... here's to many more steps for many...

The Lively Part of Death, perhaps?!

It's Saturday morning. Brenley is contemplating her outfit for the day with much enthusiasm. I remind her that she'll have to wear a dress because we'll be going to my aunt Kathy's memorial/funeral service. I say to her, "You remember Kathy, don't you? She was in a wheelchair and talked a bit funny? She had MS just like Papa."

"No, I don't remember her."
"Really?"
"Well, maybe once I see her face I'll remember then..."
"You won't see her face. It's not a wake."
"Yes, I will! You know how there's the little opening in the box by their head?"
"Oh. No. She's not going to be in a casket like that. She was cremated. She's going to be in a smaller box."
(Brace yourself)
"You mean to tell me, they like... shrinked her in the dryer?!?!"

sigh.
I laughed. A lot. And never really got into the details of what cremation is/was. She did, however, see the smaller box and just kind of gave a knowing nod at the funeral.
This. Is. My. Life.

It's not always easy, but she can certainly find the silver lining... intentional or not

Well, the start of 2010 has been kind of trying for all of us.
Kyle's uncle, Wally, passed away from a short battle with cancer.
Brenley was pretty close to "Uncle Wally" -- they had a love of nature, especially berries. Every summer Wally would pick copious amounts of blueberries, strawberries and raspberries for Brenley; sometimes more than once a day!

So, although Brenley has been to wakes before, this was her first real experience with death.

Have no fear, though... her usual charm shone through!

When I got the call that Wally had died, I told Brenley right away.

"Brenley, Uncle Wally died today. He's gone to Heaven."
"What does that mean?"
Ma says, "He went to sleep forever"
Brenley: "Well, I guess Sandra is going to have to pick me berries
now!"

Later in the day, she asked me...

"Um, do you think anyone, like, checked with Wally to make sure he
wasn't going to wake up?"

Then, after the funeral, she was still trying to process things.
We explained that we were going to a "party" at the firehall after the funeral to help say goodbye to Wally.

"It's not another prayer party, is it?" (hee hee
hee)

Then, while laying in bed with me the afternoon after the funeral she asks:

"Um, Mamaidh, can I ask you something?"
"yeaah"
"Um... how the hell did they ever fit Wally in that little box?"
(he was cremated)

So then I was left trying to explain cremation to her and I tried to explain that Wally's heart & soul went to heaven, etc. She wasn't really understanding me or I wasn't making sense. So, annoyed she turns to me and says,

"Um, do you think if I asked that guy saying the prayers at the front of
the church [priest], he'd be able to tell me?!??!"

Nonetheless, the sting of Wally passing away is still here. Just tonight she popped outside without us seeing her. We only heard her come in. So, Kyle asked her what she was doing outside:

"I was feeling sad & missing Wally, so I went outside to see if I could
see any stars winking at me..." (Kyle told her that with Wally in heaven, a
blinking star would be him winking at her.)

Rest in peace, Wally.